MAY 7, 2004 --

The Broadway Show League held its 50th opening day on May 6, one week after the season opened. In an exciting extra-inning game, De La Guarda defeated Hairspray 17-16 on a two run eighth inning homerun by centerfielder John Hartzell. For other league scores, see the League's website: www.broadwayshowleague.com.

Embedded's Philip Seymour Hoffman suffered an ankle injury in a game against Wicked (and won handily by Wicked).

Opening day ceremonies included first ball throws from actors Alec Baldwin and Matthew Broderick, and from Stephanie Bloch and Beth Fowler from The Boy from Oz.

Shortly after the ceremonies were concluded, a policeman from Central Park gave this writer a summons for "Uncontroled Dog." (sic) He explained that Central Park has "zero tolerance" for dogs (not held by the leash) and would hear no comment about Shana's age and LPR's need of photos, also saying that he remembered this writer from last summer (whatever that meant).

In this context, "zero tolerance" encompasses, arguably, the notorious canine-profiling demand of caninephobics.

G.O.P. CEO Harris, does the Republican party have zero tolerance for government that uses its power to regulate as an alternate form of taxation? The Shana hearing is scheduled for June 17. LPR herewith issues a call to persons who know Shana to appear at the hearing as character witnesses, including Miss USA who met Shana outside Yankee Stadium on April 23.

As further service to Republicans, LPR here reports that the restrooms in the playground near the Heckscher softball