APRIL
11, 2007 --
LPR
understands that the international community, as reflected
by acts of governments, consensus declarations of
scientists, and media reports, is concerned that we are, one way or another,
heading to the End of Days.
Alarms about global warming, for example, predict that coastline cities
will become part of sub-oceanic tidal plains.
Indeed, according to the vision of Edgar Cayce (rhymes with Jaycee), coastal
cities were supposed to go beneath
the waves in 1998. Perhaps they were just waiting for Al
Gore to give us "An Inconvenient Truth." (LPR is at
a loss why so much attention was given a man who refused to -- or, worse, could
not, spell "Casey," C-A-S-E-Y.)
LPR allows that global warming-caused coastline submergence might explain the
the recent trip to Syria of Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi.
This overseas visit of the top Democratic official in Washington, against the
wishes of the Bush administration, might not represent an end to the tradition
that our
politics stops at the water's edge, but reflects the possibility that the line
where our politics once stopped is now under water and, consequently, out of
sight.
LPR wonders, moreover, if global warming warning is just a way of diverting us
from OGOD. Googling about, the past week or so, LPR has learned that our world
will terminate the end of December 2012 (late enough to allow for the London
Olympics, however), according to the Mayan calendar.
This has got LPR to questioning if carbon emissions are really all that important,
Al Gore or no Al Gore.
(BTW, anagrammatically, the former vice president's name might explain his current
size and his ongoing suggestion of noblesse oblige. His name spells, among other
variants, "O Large" and "O Regal.")
The vicinity of Yankee Stadium, late afternoon, April 7, might have hinted to
the untutored eye that global warming is not as clear and present a danger are
consenting scientists suggest.
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As
this policewoman, outside Yankee Stadium after the game indicates,
there was no global-warming in The
Bronx, April 7.
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See,
please the accompanying photo of a New York City policewoman wearing
a facemask to protect against temperatures in the 30s. and note that
Alex Rodriguez, photographed as he left the ballpark after leading
the Yankees to a 10-7 win over Baltimore -- including a game-ending
grand slam home run, is hardly in shirt sleeves.
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Alex
Rodriquez, leaving Yankee Stadium, after hitting 2 home runs,
including a two-out, bottom of the ninth grand slam, and getting 6 rbi
to beat Baltimore.
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Yankee
fans cheering and photographing A-Rod after the game
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And
the Yankee fans cheering Mr. Rodriguez are dressed more for a (U.S.-style)
football game, played at a northern, undomed venue in mid December,
than
a springtime baseball game in the temperate east.
Still, LPR will not defy the consenting scientists and the editorial boards
of papers like The New York Times and The Washington Post on the global warming
issue.
LPR will not challenge arguments that the entrails of cars in traffic jams,
after the ballgame (as here shown), or on our roads, quaintly called expressways,
are contributing to global warming.
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Traffic
jam on Gerard Avenue after the Yankees' April 7 win over Baltimore,
10 - 7.
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Perhaps the current
gas price spike is aimed at setting the price so high people will stop
driving.
(This approach seemed to work for smoking.) If so, bring on the hurricanes
and refinery breakdowns.
Maybe, also, it is time, in our fight against carbon emissions, to put an end
to home-heating. Next winter, let's encourage landlords to stop providing heat,
and, instead, to drive their tenants to warmer
climes.
Unless of course, before OGOD, on or about December 21, 2012, our remaining
winters in places like the south Bronx bring tropical, globally-warmed, breezes.
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