April 19, 2013 --

Leave your car home. If you drive to New York City, do not park on streets in Manhattan. If you do park on Manhattan streets, bring an additional $1,000 with you. This sum should be sufficient to pay for one $115 parking fine you might incur, along with towing and city marshal fees. Warning: parking signs are written in "gotcha-ese,"-- the better to snare victims.

More than half a century ago, my father's car was parked overtime at a parking meter in Hamilton, Ontario. A passing policeman placed a piece of paper on the windshield. It was not a parking summons. It was a paper key welcoming my family to Hamilton.

Visitors to New York City take note: YOU ARE NOT IN HAMILTON, ONTARIO.